Here's why he was smiling at the laptop. Haris Ibrahim speaking to the diners in Sydney

For background, read here.

By Q. Khoo

At Abang Sam’s, Sunday, 23rd May 2010

Fifty-seven Malaysians-by-birth made their way to meet, greet and eat as Malaysians at home and abroad do. But this evening, each and every one of them knew it was going to be more than those three primary Malaysian traits.

A group who call themselves MIGSYD (for Malaysian Interest Group, Sydney) had organized a dinner to raise funds and more importantly, consciousness for the Saya Anak Bangsa Malaysia Spirit.

While all had been reminded umpteenth times to please be not tardy and appear by 6pm, a narrow margin was allowed for rubber-timers and the oft-berated Malaysian time keepers. The organizers had run through their systems, menu and agenda to clockwork precision in their heads by then and tapping fingers on Abang Sam’s nicely set tables for a good 30 minutes.

There are harrowing sexual experiences women everywhere go through but not many get told. Victims of sexual harassment usually bury their misery deep within, and the screams for help that come from them are only on the inside. Because they stay silent, no one knows the torments they struggle to deal with by themselves. And so no one can help in the critical healing of a wounded heart.

FARIDA JIVAMALA IBRAHIM, a victim of sexual harassment down the years, had to deal with yet another sexual harasser a few months ago. For the first time, she writes openly about her experiences in the hope that other victims will know it is never their fault when they become the unwitting target of a sexual predator.

This is her story.

I HAD never met him before. He was there as a guest at our function. Because of the pelting rain, we had delayed starting on time out of consideration for latecomers.

I had not heard him the first time he spoke those demeaning words, I was later told. So he had said them again, this time loud enough for me and the others around him to hear: “Farida, if you don’t start the movie promptly, I am going to strip you naked.”

Even the years of being a victim of harassment had not prepared me for this. Never before had I been confronted so publicly. His was a full frontal attack and without doubt he intended to hit, to hurt and to humiliate.

Yet I was able to say, just as loudly, "If you are going to talk like this, I’m going to send you out of this place. We do not entertain that kind of talk here."